Tuesday, May 28, 2013

The One Where "Jack" Dies

He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. –Unknown
Outside of a dog, a book is probably man’s best friend, and inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read. –Groucho Marx
Everyone needs a dog to adore him, and a cat to bring him back to reality.
If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around. –Will Rogers

Last week, Nathan played a pretty mean joke on me. This week, I got my revenge.

The One Where “Jack” Dies
mean pranks, love, relationships

It all started when I saw the dead dog.
It was this rusty brown color, just like Jack Daniels aka J.D, Nathan’s dog. And it was stretched out on its side in the middle of the highway. Not moving. Not breathing. Drying blood clotted around its mouth.
I got an idea.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Jack Daniels and the Naked Girl

It can be a lot of fun to prank the ones we love. Personally, I’ve always wanted to saran wrap someone’scar with industrial grade plastic. Or cementing plastic flowers to their porch sounds to pretty cool too. But I don’t think I’d ever ever do this to someone.

Jack Daniels and the Naked Girl
funny dog stories, funny cat stories

At six a.m., a good hour and a half before I was supposed to get up, Nathan’s cat stepped on my bladder. (Why you should be surprised that Nathan has a cat.) I have an almost freakish ability to hold my pee all through the night, so needless to say, my bladder was pretty full. Trying to ignore the little fiend, I rolled a little. The move tipped Peaches off my abdomen. Two minutes later, the cat returned with a vengeance. She pounced on me, practically doing a tap dance as she ran up to my face and started meowing like a crazy person.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Tickle Torture: Stroke vs. Amputee

Some researchers think that the laughter produced while being tickled is actually a sort of panic reflex. Remembering how I react whenever confronted with this most unpleasant experience, I think panic sounds about right. Because there is nothing funny about being tickled. Tickling someone else until they pee their pants—that’s hilarious. Your big sister pinning you to the floor and tickling you until you pee your pants—not so hilarious.

Interesting fact: there was a European version of torture that involved tickling with goats. Yes. Goats. A prisoner’s feet were dipped in salt water and then introduced to a goat. The animal licked the victim’s feet until all the salt was gone. Then then process was repeated over and over again. That sounds twisted but innocent enough.
Only, the continuous licking caused the victim’s skin to come off.
Sick huh?
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